Fathers

I remember once while I was a boarding school at Subiaco, my dad drove in to visit me and take me out to eat.  We drove to this pizza place on the far side of Paris, Arkansas, near the school.  It was a warm, spring evening.  There were storms blowing in from all over, so though it was yet to rain, lightning flashes illuminated the clouds in the sky that had yet to form a complete blanket to block out the stars.  What causes that night to stand out in my mind is that it was one of those times where that feeling that the world just beyond our perception is a little bit closer.  It was an occation where the joy of a son getting to have some alone time with a father he adores is intensified, where it was more than an outing, indeed was religious feeling in nature.  Religious not in that it was God, but that God was in it, revealing Himself with power and fury, like the flashes of lightening in the sky, and we, father and son, saw the beauty of Him as His light reflected off one another’s countenance.

This God we serve, He’s so dangerous isn’t He?  How great it would be if he stood guard over our houses and churches as a flaming pillar by night and a cloud by day.  Oh, that we could see the glory of our God in such a way.  But, I wonder if we would still remain faithful to Him.  The Hebrews saw all this glory.  When Moses states, “For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.” (Deuteronomy 4:24 NASB) they would have remembered the pillar of fire, insofar that it wasn’t a distant memory for them.  Earlier, Moses had exhorted them to, “…give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons.” (Deuteronomy 4:9 NASB)  But, we all know that in a few short generations, the people of YHWH had in fact forgotten those things which God had done before them.  No longer did they keep their souls diligently or themselves righteously.  They had ceased to fear God.  Israel no longer stood in wonder before YHWH’s powerful and mighty works.

Do we stand in fear of God’s powerful and thunderous works?  We’ve worked so hard to erase the false image of God as a Long Bearded Meanie in the sky, only to replace them with equally false images of a big huggable teddy bear in the sky or cosmic vending machine waiting for us to pull the lever that will give us what we want.  How is it that we have such a hard time understanding that we can both fear and love God at the same time?  When people talk about God, He’s either your best friend who’d never do anything to make you feel bad or He’s this judge just waiting to send you to the hotter part of eternity for your sins.  

There is a reason God refers to himself as Father.  A good father instills love and fear into the heart of his children.  Fear?  Yes, fear.  Not terror, which is often confused with fear.  Terror is unbridalled, fear has an inherent amount of respect.  One can love shooting a shotgun, but don’t take me shooting with someone who does not fear the capacities of the shotgun.  My father did not raise me up to be a good man with flowery words and logical arguments.  Those came second, first he raised me up with expectations and consequences.  Flowery words and logical arguments, expectations and consequences; all were derived from a position of love and compassion for my well-being.  The strength of the muscles that were used to inflict punishment were (and are) the same strength that encircled me in loving protective embrace.  That, in a paradoxical way, communicated my father’s love to me as true, strong, and legitimate.

Some people have violent, filthy men for fathers.  That is sad.  They see only the power and fury, which without love is vile hatred.  Other people have wimpy, unengaged, placating fathers.  They hear only the words of love, but see not that which ensures love’s vitality.  YHWH loves strongly.  YHWH loves compassionately.  YHWH loves perfectly.  

A friend of mine wrote me telling me about her day, and in the process wrote that she had “spent time with Abba.”  Truly interesting was that for some reason, in this instance, I did not find it cheesy. Because I know her, I read that and saw a person who regarded God as her Father, her Dad, her Abba.  She understood all her writings entailed.  I’ve heard criticism laid against referring to God as “Father” in today’s society where so many people have abusive or negligent fathers.  The critics say that it is a block to people knowing God, because they associate Him with their poor earthy fathers.  However, bad fathers are not new to our present age, they are found throughout history.  Fallible fathers are not anything new either.  From the earliest days, Adam who failed to raise his son in such a way that he wouldn’t be jealous and Noah who failed to raise his son to be a respectful and shameless man, fallible fathers have been with us.  The most perfect (earthy) dad is not God.

Yet, we still have an a priori knowledge of what a good father is.  We know that a good father is just, fair, protective, loving, kind, enacting discipline, gentle.  Do people with good fathers understand this easier than those without them?  I rather imagine so.  But, the truth is that we know what a good parent is.  We know what is good and we know what is wrong…

That night as we drove back from getting pizza, as the tumult raged around us and lightning excited the night sky behind the monastery where my boarding school was, I remember being filled with the most tangible feeling of my earthly dad’s love, and having newly professed faith in my Heavenly Father, I was struck by the depth of my father’s love for me, a love that was derived from our Father’s love for both he and I.  I enjoyed Abba in the warm love of my dad, and in the power of creation I possessed, willingly, the fear of the Father.  The truth is this, the weakness of my dad matched with the power of my Father brought me to touch the plane of divinity.  Christ’s mediating work enabled this son, to know the Father.  The work of one Son, brought a dad and son closer to each other, and closer to their Father.